How Much I Care
by Gilded Blue
Summary: ChiChi literally is the woman of Goku's dreams. He just needs a little help realizing this.
1. Prologue

**Author's note: Hi there, you guys. Truly I'm flattered you want to read this story, but I have to warn you it was written a very long time ago and what you're looking at currently is something like a skeleton, heavy on dialogue and at times pretty vague. A full-fledged rewrite is planned for Fall/Winter 2010. Thanks, CL. **

**How Much I Care **

It'd been weeks since she spoke more than short words that could barely be considered sentences to her husband. He'd shrugged it off, her moods often changed at the blink of an eye and she seemed content enough, just quiet. Of course, this was his reasoning the first week.

Volatile, he thought. That was the word, the way that ChiChi's temper could be described. He almost giggled to think of her scolding, her threatening slender finger, even the sharp look in her eyes. Truly, Son ChiChi was known for keeping her husband in his place. He'd married an appropriately strong woman.

The second week, he began feeling slightly uncomfortable in his own home, but by the time dinner was served, ChiChi seemed fine. She ate across the table and spoke to their son about his education in a very soft voice, even his elite hearing had to strain to hear any sort of emotion in her voice.

She was like a ghost walking about the house silently, picking up after them, setting out food for them and they did not acknowledge that she did so. Neither did so purposefully. Innocently, they barely noticed that such was their manner of treating their mother and wife: cooker of their food and keeper of their house.

By the time a month had rolled around, his son brought up the situation.

_"I'm worried about her."_

His father didn't have to guess who 'she' was or why his son was worried, but Gokou felt perhaps the only way to respond was to not. Gohan did not bring her up again.

There was always a new enemy, some sort of threat. They'd come to expect it now and just pick up broken stones and move on, training harder for the next opponent. Some were defeated more easily than others. The answer to winning was hard work and training. Training was not drudgery, but the highlight of his young life. He knew he would never become the scholar his mother wanted him to be. He was a martial artist as his father was, and that was that.

As another month passed by, this had become routine. He would wake up and go straight to training, coming back in a few hours, breakfast was on the table, he would rest a few moments, then go back to furious training for several hours on end, sometimes remembering to eat lunch, and others not.

Dinner was most important of all meals to Son Gokou. Sundown was the point of the day ending and the training's to be set to rest until the next sunrise. He would walk in and leave his clothes for his wife to wash and take a shower as dinner cooked itself, tasty and warm and waiting for him. They would eat, and his wife no longer spoke at all. Not of education or complain of their laziness. She'd pick at her food like a bird, and speak when she was spoken to.

Gohan tried to manage the subject once more with his father. "_Dad, it's like she's lost her light or something."_

Gokou watched his wife a little bit, the words ringing in his ears. He didn't really ever think ChiChi _had _a light. Like a candle in her chest, or something? He shook his head. It wasn't out of maliciousness that his mind was at ease. He just thought he knew better, and in his confidence he smiled at his son, ruffling his hair and telling him to focus on what threat was to come.

Clink. Clink. Clink.

After a while, they would always settle down to eating and saying nothing at all. ChiChi seemed to like this the most. The word awkward comes to mind. Through smiles clearly forced and long stares out the window, Gohan wanted nothing more than to beseech his mother to return to him.

Gokou's fixed gaze on his wife seemingly went unnoticed. Although ChiChi ate carefully and quietly, her facial expressions, varied fairly often. He made a game of trying to catch the subtle changes. One moment, she had a dazed look and the next her jaw would be clinched shut. A third, there would be a more longing and sad look in her eyes. She sat up straight, with her perfect posture, but even with her usual prim manner, she almost looked as if she were slumped over and hiding from the world.

"_Do you think she's sick, Dad?" _

"_Nothing is wrong with your mom, Kiddo." _

She barely managed her food, and after serving and giving seconds to both her husband and son several times, her son would leave the table. He shot a look of desperation over at his father.

You could count the exact number of seconds every night that it took for her to get up after her son left. She poked at her food about three more times, got up, set the dishes to the side of the sink so she would take care of them in the morning, and went quietly to clean up before retiring to her side of the bed.

"ChiChi," He called her name out. Her breathing looked irregular, like she was trying to pretend she was asleep. She must have wanted to be let alone. With a shrug, Gokou pulled his shirt over his head.

The emotional state of his wife was far from his concerns until the third month rolled around. He had other much more important things to worry about. If something was going on with ChiChi, he felt assured that he was doing the best thing by focusing on all of his energy on preparing for battle.

One particular evening, he felt offended and alone when he was left to eat silently with no stories to tell for there was no one to listen. He was no longer hungry, his appetite left as this eeriness entered the realm.

He got up and followed her to their bedroom, but the bed was tightly fixed as if it had never been used and there was no sign of his wife's ever entering the room. He'd become nervous now. Had someone kidnapped his wife? Something had happened, surely. A few items of clothing had been carelessly dropped on the floor.

Gokou gulped.

Son ChiChi never left anything out of place in their bedroom.

Panic leapt into his throat.

He followed the pile, more nervous as the seconds pulled on. His mind was racing as he considered any and every foe that could have left this trail of clothes from his bedroom on to the master bathroom. He licked his lips in anticipation of what was beyond the door: the androids ready to attack, perhaps? But they were not due attack for two and a half more years. Gokou shook his head as he prepared to advance.

Nevertheless, on guard, Gokou opened the door to the bathroom. His wife turned her head and immediately grabbed a towel to cover her wet and naked person. Her mouth opened wide in horror and shame.

The gasp he heard emitted from her little mouth was the closest thing that he'd heard to her voice in weeks.

_"Uh, sorry Ch'."_ Gokou muttered quickly. He, savior of the planet Earth and answer to all of those that cry out for help, felt a deep crimson blush rush over his cheeks and he slammed the door shut.

He leaned against the back of the door, breathing hard. His chest rose and fell.

They lay silently in bed that night, both awake but neither speaking as they were under the impression that their other was asleep. Both lay oceans of covers apart in the little bed, but one noticed this every night and the other submitted to his eye's begging for sleep so that soon, his exciting morning of training would begin.

* * *

**Brief edit, 8/10. **


	2. Oblivion

**How Much I Care**

Upon the foreign feeling of a few bits of hair brushing against his chin, Gokou woke with a start, but he was not in the familiar bedroom. No, there was a bed, but no room. In fact, there seemed to be no beginning or end to this place he had suddenly found himself in.

He was lying down, and yet nothing was underneath him. He almost panicked to glance down and see that it was as if he was floating about in space. Infinite black hung below.

Carelessly pushing himself up with his hands, he finally noticed to form on him that had caused the waking in the first place.

_"I've been waiting for you."_

Gokou squinted down, but all he saw was long and flowing raven hair. Cocking a brow to the familiar voice that he could not exactly place, he ignored the words.

_"Who are you? Where am I? What…are…you…doing?"_

The form shifted in his lap, moving up to rest her head against his chest. The top of her head barely touched under his chin, but the feeling of comfort he took in from the form's gesture caused Gokou to shift again, just slightly. The curious woman was not heavy, close to weightless by his standards. She was also very, very naked.

Gokou swallowed.

_"Shh, shh, so many questions. Calm down, Gokou, you act as if you've never seen me before. I am your wife." _A girlish giggle is emitted from her little mouth and it gathers in the air, travelling to his sensitive Saiya-Jin ears.

"_Now, as for where we are, there are certain rules-"_

_"Chi-Chi?"_

The disbelief in his tone and his interruption mildly agitated the woman, who looked up so that he could finally see her face.

Yes, it was certainly Chi-Chi's face, but her dark eyes were a bit rounder; she seemed happier, more human now. Her face was the same, coupled with the same look of annoyance and her familiar lips, but what confused Gokou the most was her hair.

No longer was it in the quick bun she'd normally tied it in. It wandered without direction down her shoulders, and Gokou had to look again just to make sure it was she.

She giggled again, twirling a strand of her raven locks about a thin, painted finger. It was undoubtedly Chi-Chi though. Something just told him that she was not telling a lie, although another part of him couldn't believe that the same flirtatious woman sitting on top of him in this bizarre place was the one he'd married years before.

The woman had been waiting for him to finish looking before she rested her head against his jaw, closing for eyes and starting her speech once more.

_"You're very lucky. Not all people get this chance, you know. But you always seemed to do well with luck. She's not the only woman that you've charmed, is she?"_

She did not wait for her husband to respond, she went on. Her voice was Chi Chi's and her tone was informative, but Gokou doubted it was her. She rarely spoke so much. In a quick movement, the woman that was his wife was gone, and he was standing in his normal clothes.

"_You don't need to worry about your silly training here. You see, this is not reality, Gokou. We are in a place very far from it-this is a dream. There are rules that must be abided by. The consequence of breaking them is waking up without remembering. But everyone has to wake up from dreams sometime, so everyone eventually breaks the rules."_

This time, this voice was that of a male. He smiled calmly as he leaned against the oblivion behind himself, waiting for every question as if he knew exactly what to expect.

_"How can there be rules in my own dream?"_

_"You're lucky that __**We**__ even give you the rules. It's not done often."_

_"We?"_

_"Yes. We are a force that is hard to explain. Dreams are hard to explain and setting guidelines for them is almost impossible. In fact, doing this was very controversial for them, because this, to some of them, is considered breaking rules as well. But here the rules are: One, dreams reflect several things."_

"_So this is a… dream? Really?"_

"_They can reflect anything. Pay attention, Son. They said you were sort of dim-witted, but try to keep up."_

"_Hey!" _Gokou nearly whined, _"I take offense to that!"_

"_These reflections are usually rather typical or obvious. What you want in life, random thoughts drifting in and out, sometimes they're based on memories, or what you last thought about before you fell asleep."_

"_Yeah, so?"_

"_Now, sometimes we intervene. There are a very rare few that have received such treatment, and I assure you it's always only for a good reason."_

"_Why is this happening to me?"_

"_I won't go into that now. Listen: in your dream you should have a right to control it because it is in fact produced by your own minds. Our job is not to provide dreams for you, but to provide dreams such as this that are special."_

"_But how is it special?"_

"_I know a lot of questions are left unasked, but I must go on. We don't have a lot of time."_

"_Oh."_

"_Thirdly, even though in dreams like this you can decide some things, you cannot decide all. This is what makes this different from a normal dream."_

"_So I'm dreaming but you're…"_

"_We sort of encourage thoughts, it's entirely benevolent, Son Gokou." The voice said to Gokou's tightened fist._

"_I don't like the idea of my thoughts being tampered with!"_

"_You don't have a choice. You cannot make people say or do certain things the way a you could in say, a lucid dream, but you can change settings or attire, etcetera. There's a fine line between the two but I think you'll do well. You don't seem so creative anyway."_

"_Hey! You're kind of rude."_

"_Your mind naturally will try to take control or recreate what's normal to you, so you need to try to control your thoughts carefully."_

"_Control my thoughts?" _

"_Now, there is one last thing, but Chi-Chi will tell you about that. You're in her hands now."_

_"But wait-what-"_

Gokou was lying down again. Perched on his chest was his wife.

_"I am real and yet a figment of your imagination all at once."_

_

* * *

_

_**Quick edit 8/10**  
_


	3. Sleepyhead

**How Much I Care **

_"I don't understand any of this."_

_"You don't have to, Gokou." _

This time, his wife's voice lacked its mysteriousness and she seemed more in character, however… naked. Sighing, the woman rested her chin on her palm.

_"How do I explain this to you? Well, I am a representation of the contrast between the past, the present, and the future. No one knows the future of course, but by analyzing things you can make assumptions. Now, I am Chi-Chi, but when I wake up the chances are that I won't remember any of this. When you wake up, you will but you will not speak of this."_

"_So you really are ChiChi?" _Gokou asked with his eyes wide and curious.

"_Of course I am. The way I've come to understand it, the god of sleep or dreams or something has connected our minds briefly."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because everyone likes you, Gokou." _

"_Oh."_

ChiChi sort of scoffed and crossed her arms around her naked bust.

"_Could you…" _Flush_._

She asks innocently, _"What?"_

"_Could you put some clothes on?"_

ChiChi flushed, balling her fists together,_ "I'm naked because that's all you can think about!" _

"_I am not!" _Gokou, red-faced waved his hands about. "_I don't even know what this is, or why this is happening? What's up with all these rules? How can I even trust that you're Chi-Chi?"_

_"You don't have to, Gokou. You can always wake up. And it'll be morning and I'll slip back into my own body and have my own dreams. But just remember, I've been waiting for you-I'm waiting for you."_

_"I want to wake up."_

His voice was stern and there was a slight look of pain in her eyes. She nodded, and the vision slowly faded as if ripples in the water.

* * *

He was sweating when he woke up. He didn't jump up immediately, but sat there, waiting for whatever just happened to make sense. He looked over at the other side of the bed, but his wife was on her side and he could not see her face. Her voice, her words, that echoed through his head slowly died, and he stretched, another morning had started and he got out of the bed and the day began.

_"Hey! Wake up, Lazy."_

His son laughed at the joke, rolling over to reveal he was ready and dressed. "Who're you callin' lazy, Dad? Piccolo and I have been waiting for you for hours. He told me to go back to bed before I woke Mom up."

"Even Piccolo's afraid of Chi, huh?" Gokou asked with a laugh. Immediately he felt troubled at the thought. A hand tangled in his hair, he yawned and asked, "Geez… what time is it anyway?"

He stifled a yawn and stretched a bit, and his son raised a brow, tilting his head a bit.

Gohan looked concerned for a moment, "Are you alright, Daddy?"

"Yes, I'm fine, Gohan. But what time is it? How long did I sleep?"

"I'm not really sure. It's afternoon, though."

"What?" Goku's eyes bulged a little, "Why didn't you wake me up?"

Gohan shrugged a little bit, "I just had this weird feeling that I shouldn't, I guess. I mean, how often do you sleep in, Dad? You must have needed it, and I didn't want to wake up Mom."

Gokou considered for a moment, but frowned again. Chichi couldn't very well have just gone back to sleep. It was late. They should've got him up, his thoughts grumbled, but he was patient with and understood his son's concerns. What of Piccolo, though? Did he just not care? Certainly he wouldn't have cared about not waking up Chichi.

The older man shook his head a little bit, "Why didn't Piccolo wake me up?"

"He didn't say. He just told me to go back to bed."

Gokou frowned, "That's odd."

"So, uh, Dad? Can we start training now? Piccolo and I sparred a little bit, but about an hour or so ago that we stopped. He just told me to come back and wait for you. I feel like I've wasted so much time."

"You're telling me."

The two stretched a bit, but were both clothed in minutes. They found their Namekian ally meditating out by the trees not far from their house. He grunted as they approached.

"So you finally woke up, did you, Son? It took you long enough."

He scoffed, and Gokou laughed, scratching his head a bit.

"I guess I was more tired than I thought. Sorry Piccolo."

"Don't apologize to me for being a slacker. When these bastard androids come, you can apologize to them."

Gokou gave a hesitant laugh and shrugged. Quickly, he prepared for battle. "So let's get started, then."

* * *

**Quick edit. **


	4. Violent and Eerie

**How Much I Care **

The scene was a familiar one. Namek, beautiful Namek: the sky its own color, so different from the ugly cities of Earth. The wind was calm, his hair swayed under the tension.

_"Something's not right. Why am I here?"_

A chuckle came from behind. He turned, and stared blankly at the form before him.

_"Frieza?"_

His voice was dark as he stared at the white devil. He got in his fighting stance, but the form merely tilted its head, calmly watching him.

_"Are you afraid of your wife, Son Gokou?"_

Gokou stared at the evil before him. What was this? A trick? He wouldn't fall for it. He didn't answer. The form chuckled, but repeated again with a more demanding, annoyed tone.

"_You're supposed to be dead! There's no way that you could be here."_

"_I'm here because you passed out thinking about me, and how afraid you are that a monster like me is going to come and attack your pretty little planet."_

Gokou swallowed.

_"Are you afraid of your wife, Gokou?"_

_"No."_

It laughed again. Gokou's gaze darkened.

_"Of course you aren't. A warrior such as you shouldn't even be bothered by women at all. You're not afraid of anything, are you?"_

The wind blow again. Gokou stood straight, staring at the threat that was not trying to attack him.

_"No."_

_"Should you be?"_

Gokou blinked. What bizarre questions. What vague answers. Why else would Frieza ask such things? He was trying to trick him. But Gokou answered too quickly before he understood what he'd just said.

_"I don't know. Everyone else is, I guess."_

_"Do you love your wife, Gokou?"_

"_You're kidding!" _

By that time, Gokou no longer feared anything Frieza could do to him. Frieza was trying to intimidate him, and it wouldn't work.

_"You said that a bit quickly. Why don't you think about it?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Why do you hurt her if you love her so much...?"_

Gokou's blood ran cold. How dare he suggest...

Gokou froze and glared at Frieza hard and dark. He would never do anything to hurt ChiChi. Never. He was the good guy.

_"...Am I in this... place again?"_

_"Namek is also a very beautiful place, no?"_

Frieza looked down at his reflection in a lake, speaking in a daze. Gokou shook his head.

_"I mean... Am I...?"_

_"If you're meaning to ask me if you're dreaming, then the answer is yes."_

_"Then I can wake up if I want to."_

_"You can."_ Frieza nodded to this, still watching himself.

_"I want to wake up."_

Frieza gave a furious burst of speed and power as he thrust his fist into Gokou's chest. Blood pour out, like a waterfall...but it was all too quick, and the next thing Gokou saw was shadows in his room as he shot up in bed in a cold sweat.

* * *

**-CL **


	5. Weaknesses

**How Much I Care **

Chichi was silent as always. As Gokou and Gohan spoke of training, she poked at her food before leaving. She'd never left the table before her son before, but at this moment she was so unconscious to what was going on around her that she just left. Gohan stopped talking for a while to watch his mother leave, but Gokou continued to speak to his son.

"Dad, is Mom okay?"

"Sure."

"Dad?"

"Hmn, Gohan?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah... Why wouldn't I be?"

Gohan tilted his head to the side, but Gokou knew he'd been distracted all day by the stupid dream. He'd felt his death… every little bit of pain for millions of hours in that split second before he woke up in a cold sweat and started the day again.

Gokou gave a loud yawn, stretching and getting up from his seat. There were other places he had to go.

"I'm actually kinda tired, how 'bout you, Little Man? Let's get some rest."

"Piccolo's outside."

"I know."

"You want to go talk to him, don't you?"

"Well, yes."

Gohan nodded. He didn't protest, there was a certain way of telling what was serious to the point that he could not hear. Yes, it annoyed him, but even if he were an adult some conversations were always private between the two.

"I'll see you in the morning, Dad. Don't be late."

"I promise I'll be on time. Night, Kiddo."

Gokou walked outside. Piccolo, waiting calmly under a tree snickered.

"I thought you'd never get here."

"Well you did come right after I ate dinner. So what's up?"

"I want to know why you haven't been, how shall I say this, working hard lately in our training. Do you think this is a joke, Son? All of our lives are on the line and you don't have time to not put forth the effort you could. I thought you of all people would know that and strive to train the hardest. And Vegeta-"

"I know, I know, Vegeta's been working furiously and after we beat the androids there's a small he'll turn on me and I'll have to be prepared to take him down if when the time comes."

Piccolo chuckled. Gokou sounded like a child that had been scolded more times than necessary but still never got the main point of the argument.

"You've developed a soft spot for Vegeta. I have to wonder, why didn't you try harder to get him to join in the sparring?"

"Because that wouldn't be very fun for other of us: me knowing all his tricks, him knowing mine. It's more a bit of respect for him."

"Pity, you mean?"

"What?"

Piccolo cocked his head to the side.

"You heard me. Do you pity Vegeta? Is that why you never killed him, even when you've had more than enough chances?"

"No. Vegeta doesn't really want sympathy, does he?"

"Pity and sympathy are two different things, Gokou. He's a bitter bastard, and he's a true warrior without anything to hold him back from the most vigorous training, unlike you, that much is true, but I think the reason you didn't kill him while you had the chance was because you pitied him."

"I think under Bulma's influence he'll straighten out."

"Trunks only confirmed that they have sex. Not anything romantic, if that's what you mean. Just because they have sex does not mean he'll be any less psychotic when these next years pass."

"What did you mean when you said Vegeta was a true warrior?"

Gokou changed the subject. He had no exact reason for not holding much against Vegeta other than his caring nature. Vegeta was changing, maybe only he could see that. What interested him much more was Piccolo's comment. What did that mean? That Piccolo thought Vegeta would kill him one day? Gokou frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Your wife is a mute. Your son is exposed to battle but do you really think he'll be able to kill something? It's not in his nature. He's too much like you for his own good. If you're going to be a true warrior, you need to be without emotion."

"And you have no emotion? We'll never agree on that, Piccolo. I believe that fighting to protect those I love is part of the reason I try so hard. Those who fight for selfish reasons are bound by their own mind's limits."

"So if someone had your wife and held her against you, would you surrender to save her life?"

"Of course, but that doesn't mean defeat. There will always be some other way."

"What if there isn't?"

Gokou gave an innocent shrug. Piccolo nodded.

"So anyway, why have you been so distracted lately? Don't say you haven't."

"I have been having troubles sleeping. That's all."

He admitted calmly, with a shrug.

"Then you'd damn well start working harder, Son."

Gokou nodded. Gohan, listening from his open bedroom window as he pretended to be asleep, heard five words echoing for the remainder of the night.

_'Your wife is a mute.'_

_

* * *

**8/10 **  
_


	6. Outrageous

**How Much I Care**

_"Let's hurry up and get this over with, you fool."_

_"What? Vegeta? What are you doing here?" _

The voice was all too familiar. The two stood in the night outside Capsule Corporation. Vegeta leaned coolly against the Gravity Chamber.

_"The woman is waiting."_

Vegeta pointed his thumb to Bulma's bedroom window. The lights were off, but, awkwardly as this was a cold night, Bulma had left her balcony doors slightly open. Gokou blinked.

_"I didn't realize that you two would become intimate so soon… Isn't she still with Yamucha?"_

Vegeta smirked. Gokou didn't want to know what was going on.

"_The woman is waiting. Are you really that dense, Kakarotto?"_

_"What?" _

_"Are you really that dense?"_

_"Why is this happening to me?"_

Gokou lost his patience. Bulma, from her window must have heard him yelling, because she frowned and exited. She went from a three-story balcony to behind him instantly. Gokou stared, confused and realizing that he was not facing reality's world anymore.

_"Gokou! Some people are trying to sleep. Now, what Vegeta's saying in his own way is that this isn't just going to go away. Now, if you want to wake up feeling like you actually slept, I suggest you figure out what you need to figure out and move on with life. You heard Piccolo."_

_"I'm confused. How do I know when I'm in…. this place and when I'm not? How do you know about my conversation with Piccolo, Bulma?"_

_"It was mentioned to you before. I know everything that goes on inside your mind that you allow me to. I'm a figment of your imagination. I'm a part of a very complex dream and when you wake up I will go back to my own dreams, so hurry up and wake up! I'd like to take Vegeta with me."_

_"Will you know you were in my dream?"_

Bulma, frustrated, sighed and shook her head 'no'. Vegeta smirked and Bulma sent him a certain finger.

"_Why is this happening to me?"_

_"Figure it out, Son. Stop hiding from this place. You might find you can't wake up until you cooperate soon enough."_

_"What? No! I want to wake up! Now!"_

Vegeta cracked his knuckles and smirked.

_"I've been waiting for this part."_

But Vegeta's blast never really touched him. Or he didn't feel it long. He woke up confused. The sun was rising. Piccolo was right. It was time to get back to work. No more silly dreams.

He couldn't just stay asleep forever.

He couldn't.

* * *

**-8/10 edit**


	7. Lingering

**How Much I Care **

Chichi sighed and watched the sun. The sky was a beautiful combination of pinks and oranges, the day was ready to begin, and she would be alone until it ended.

And so she did.

She would have smiled more, but they didn't want smiles from her, now did they? A clean house and food on the table, clothes washed, words whispered in her mind, but she'd never thought about leaving. Not until the next day.

Gokou didn't come home that night, nor did he the next morning. Chichi spent the entire day aimlessly walking around, pinching her arms, shaking, her back was always so cold, she knew there was one cure to the ice pouring down her heart, but she never asked of it, asking of anything was too much. The rain poured without mercy, she didn't want it to stop. The gray… it was the color of her heart.

She was locked in the house because she had nowhere to go. Gokou would return hungry, and she would cook for him. It was midnight; she walked out and stared at the stars. It was a beautiful but cloudy night. She wanted to live in midnight forever.

And then, a thought…

_'I could leave… I could leave and never return...'_

But she stared at herself. Her heart hurt. She wanted to cut it out. She shook, and then she looked to the side, one of the larger trees by the house… Pain seethed as she remembered how her Gokou'd been so sweet. That was when they were teenagers.

They'd just been settled in their new home. He drew a little heart. She remembered. So long ago.

_"First, you write my name."_

_"Gokou, are you doing?"_

How she'd giggled. Like that time wouldn't end. But she wrote his name inside the heart.

_"Now I'll write yours."_

He was a funny person. His handwriting was usually scraggly but her name was there, as neatly as his. There it was:

_Chi-Chi & Gokou_

_I love you. _

It seemed unlikely… To even her it seemed unreal and untrue. She couldn't see it on the old bark. It probably was scratched off.

Tears streaked down her cheeks and combined with the rain. She thought she knew him. She didn't see his true face until that Vegeta and his Saiya-Jin friends came. Somehow, she felt indebted to the monsters for coming, and taking her husband away.

Was it taking him away, or showing how he really was? Before she knew it, he'd left again and this time took her little boy. Her little boy. He was a child, he could get hurt, even worse killed, Kami-Sama knew what he could have seen there. Trauma. His mind was young and impressionable. He needed to be studying and living like a normal little boy.

He took her baby boy away. She'd lost him, and maybe one day she could've gotten over it, but he took her little boy. She needed her little boy, more than he knew it.

'_And where is he now!'_

She bitterly thought. She didn't want to know where he was. What if… so many what ifs.

Chichi leaned against the same tree only a few days before Piccolo leaned against as he and her husband had a heated discussion. It was so cold. She was so cold, but she let her shawl slip to the side.

Rain poured. The days when her husband was there… it was warm and happy outside. Soon, it became freezing and wet. She sighed and slid to the muddy ground…

The rain came harder.

Chichi didn't care if she didn't see her husband again. She wanted to stay in this place, in this rainy midnight.

* * *

**-8/10 edit**


	8. Revelations

**How Much I Care**

"Heh, you've been trying so hard not to fall asleep, Gokou. I guess I really did scare you."

_"Get away from me!"_

Gokou'd finally tired of this. What were they doing? What did they want from him? Why didn't they just tell him? He couldn't sleep anymore, and worse he needed to concentrate on training! He had to fight these androids… he wanted to fight them… he'd been counting on it so long now.

Bulma stared at him and crossed her arms over her chest.

_"You can't hide from this forever, you know. You're being such a child. I don't think you're being very fair."_

Gokou backed away from her as she advanced on him. He wanted this to go away, whatever it was, it was crazy and confusing.

_"Son, not responding isn't going to help make this any better. You left with Gohan a few days ago. Three days or so, now? Why'd you leave?_

Gokou gave a deep sigh and leaned against a wall that abruptly appeared. Aside from being surprised at this certain ability to twist settings around him in this realm, he looked to her. She was laughing. He frowned.

_"You were told you could do that, you know. I don't see what the big deal is. Now, come on, why'd you leave?"_

_"Will you go away? If I do this… will I wake up?"_

Bulma yawned and tugged on her Capsule-Corporation jacket. Looking up to him, she chuckled. "_Of course you'll wake up. Not allowing you to wake up is our final solution."_

_"When would that take place?_

_"Sooner than you think if this keeps up, Gokou."_ Bulma waited calmly as the settings began to change as Gokou's mood changed drastically. She waited calmly for him to begin yelling at her, in deep panic. Gokou, on the other hand, stared in shock and a sort of impatience that was unlikely and out of character.

_"Before you panic, that just means that you have to talk to me and then you can wake up. You're not in a coma or anything. Calm down. Just pretend I never said that if you want to."_

_"I want to wake up… I was also told I could always wake up if I chose to."_

_"No… you were told it was your choice if you wanted to wake up… Not that you always would if you wanted to. Like I said, you're not sick or dead, just in… a very deep sleep. Think of it as us holding your body and mind hostage for a little while. Shall we begin? Or would you rather talk to someone else? It can be arranged that Frieza or Vegeta come back?"_

Gokou frowned. How could she be joking at a moment like this? What if they were lying? He looked around and sighed, leaning back against an appearing wall.

_"Oh, and before you start to power up and this and that, remember you're inside your mind. One rarely is able to break the barriers that they set before themselves."_

Gokou ignored her, somewhat embarrassed she'd so easily known his plan.

_"Fine. What is it?"_

_"Why did you leave?"_

_"I have to train. This…"_

Bulma waved her hand around causally.

_"It's become a problem with your training, I know. So do you know how your leaving affected your wife?"_

_"ChiChi?"_

_"She's the only wife you have, isn't she?"_

_"I suspected this had something to do with her. Why are you so interested in my relationship with ChiChi?"_

_"Well, how did your leaving affect your wife?"_

Gokou shrugged. Bulma tapped her nail on her arm.

_"She's fine."_

Bulma glared, and with a flick of her wrist, she slapped Gokou. Gokou stared blankly. Usually getting hurt meant he didn't feel it and woke up, but he was still there and his cheek burned.

_"You're impossible! Do we have to spell it out to you? It was hoped you could figure out some things on your own! Even now, your only thoughts of ChiChi are washing and cooking and yelling at you! You can't see she's a delicate woman and needs to be treated like a wife! Like a woman!"_

Bulma looked to the side. For the first time, Gokou could see her hair was long, unlike the Bulma he'd seen last time. But she was undoubtedly Bulma. Her cap was pink and she wore a suit of matching color in the pants and jacket. Her voice was solemn.

_"You don't know what it feels like… seeing her from where I come from. You don't know what it feels like to not know if the man you love loves you back or even knows you exist or if he's coming home for dinner at night. If he doesn't, is he training or is he dead? I loved Vegeta and he's gone now. He never told me if he loved me or not."_

_"Gone… what do you mean?"_

_"Don't you get it? I'm not from your time."_

_"You mean… you're Mirai Trunks' mother?"_

Bulma nodded through subtle tears. She crossed her arms over her chest and re-crossed them nervously.

_"When you died, ChiChi could barely even look at Gohan. Then, she treasured him for he was the last bit of you she had. I saw her a few days ago. You died on her and left her to feel used and unloved. I'm afraid that's going to happen again."_

_"But I'm not going to die in this time. You made sure of that."_

_"She still feels used and unloved, though, doesn't she?"_

Gokou frowned.

_"So all of this… Is for ChiChi?"_

_"It's a gift… a gift from above. This time it's not for you." _

* * *

**-8/10 edit**


	9. Intimate

**How Much I Care**

_"I wouldn't really consider this a gift." He remarked, sourly.  
_

_"Heh, I doubt you would, Gokou. So let's talk. I will ask you completely personal questions so you'd better be prepared to blush."_

Gokou twitched a bit but let her go on. He had to wake up.

_"When was the last time you had sex with her?"_

She was right, he turned scarlet. Grimacing, he thought hard to answer.

_"We're not… really… a very… intimate… couple."_

_"Oh, so her way of showing affection towards you is her cooking for you?"_

_"It shows she doesn't want me to starve?"_

Bulma sighed.

_"Only once?"_

Gokou crossed his arms over his chest and coughed.

_"Would you prefer someone else to ask you these questions?"_

_"I'm fine."_

But his response was dark. He glared out a window that appeared. Unfortunately, all he saw out the window was the same black abyss, but it gave him something to look at.

_"Alright…"_

_"I've been with her more than once, okay? It's just been a while. I've been training. First with the Saiya-Jins coming, then a year dead, then to Namek, then another year after Namek, then the training for the androids…It's not really always, you know, a priority."_

_"So basically it's been what? Almost five years since? She needs affection."_

_"I'm very affectionate!"_

Bulma snorted and went on.

_"That's the first thing we need to work on… She's not your slave, Gokou, she's your wife… No one's saying sex is the only means of affection but please strive to show her you love her in a way more than 'The food was great, Goodnight.'"_

Gokou sighed.

_"Maybe Vegeta should-"_

_"So, Kakarotto, you're not satisfying your woman?"_

Gokou blinked as Vegeta seemed to just… pop up and Bulma vanish.

_"No, no, no, no! I was kidding! Bring Bulma back!" _

Vegeta smirked sadistically, but Bulma yawned and popped back in. He stared blankly.

_"Make him… go away."_

Bulma laughed, running a hand through her long hair.

"_So the gods of sleep have been preventing me from training because they want me to have sex with ChiChi more often?"_

Bulma glowered at him. Gokou smiled shyly.

_"So anyway, training is important to you… she understands and respects that. Hell, she takes it very well. Better than I would, anyway."_

Gokou glared at Vegeta, who was sending mocking looks over at him. Bulma slapped Vegeta in the back of the head, earning a glare in return from the prince as he crossed his arms around his chest. He could tell it was somewhat painful for Vegeta to be there and felt grateful that this either wasn't the real Vegeta, or he wouldn't remember the entire incident later. Gokou never really could tell which of the two was happening.

_"But make a little time for family. It'll be fun."_

Gokou blinked.

_"Is that all?"_

Bulma shook her head.

_"I want you to see a few things before you go…"_

Gokou crossed his arms over his chest in thought. Vegeta, statue-like off to a dark corner, seemed to be behaving.

A switch randomly popped out and Bulma tugged at it, grinning. As he fell through a hole that appeared in the seemingly endless ground, Bulma waved. Even Vegeta seemed amused by the display.

_"Have fun, Kakarotto!" _

* * *

**-8/10 edit**


	10. Young Love

**How Much I Care**

Gokou felt as if he were some sort of non-existent form, which alarmed him at first.

_"Am I… dead?"_

But, one always does get alarmed when they find they can walk through solid things, or in Gokou's case, fall through them. The hole that appeared made him feel like something was yanking at him from the insides and his outsides were forced to comply. Somewhat nauseous, he was even more annoyed that he couldn't lean against a tree.

The sound of a gentle giggle attracted his attention. Surely someone was there and could explain it. By this time, he was somewhat used to people guiding him along during this… ordeal. He kept walking along the forest path; he knew this place from somewhere else. Or so he felt as if he did.

He shrugged off the feeling and followed the voice. Female, he tried to determine her age, but unlike males, females' voices didn't change in tone as drastically.

As he approached a clearing in the path, he certainly knew where he was. Almost a mile and a half away from the cottage, it was a little lake he used to fish in. Huge stones created an arch around most of the lake, good for diving in.

After grunting in annoyance as when he attempted to jump on a boulder, he fell right through, and after trying to climb it, he sank through as well, he strived to get to the voice.

_"It's there. It's real. I'm here. I'm real. Why can't I… touch it?"_

Annoyed that he hadn't been warned that he would be… a ghost or something along those lines, he hovered in the air and decided to float up to the voice until he could figure out how to make his form complicated enough to literally touch things in this… place.

_"Gokou, stop!" _

Gokou froze in mid-air. The words weren't threatening or even annoyed, but playful and barely audible by the laughter behind it. What scared him was that he wasn't quite sure the voice was talking to him or not.

**Splash!**

He would have been soaking wet, and the voice gave a little squeal as apparently she had been soaked.

_"Come on in, 'Chi!"_

_"You mean jump in from this high up?"_

_"I'll catch ya!"_

Her voice went from an unsure nervousness as the male's voice re-assured her, but what was… awkward was that Gokou recognized the voice as his own.

_"Is this the past or something?"_

_"Sure is!" _

Bulma beamed at him. He would have fallen over, but there was nothing to fall on to. This time, she had shoulder-length hair so he was considerably sure she was the Bulma from this time.

_"Vegeta told me not to help you but I think he enjoyed having two of me around too much. Anyway, I'm not going to stay for long, it's just that you're so silly that I felt bad for you." _

Gokou crossed his arms over his chest.

_"So when you look behind this boulder what do you think you're going to see?" _

Bulma smiled. Gokou thought she was enjoying this a bit too much.

"But… my dress!"

"Take it off then."

"Gokou!"

It was pretty obvious, even when the past Gokou wasn't in sight, that they both shrugged.

_"What will I see? Uh… me… and Chichi?" _

_"And how long ago is this?"_

Gokou blinked. How was he supposed to know? Bulma yawned.

"_Alright, alright, figure it out yourself. There are two and a half things I want you to keep in mind."_

Gokou raised a brow.

_"You're not a ghost or anything, but you don't… exist right now yet. Well, you exist but, ugh, anyway, number one is that you have to be careful. I've already seen you falling through objects. All you have to do is concentrate on them really hard. Number two, this is a memory. One of your memories, dug out straight from your mind. Meaning you can't change what does and doesn't happen here. Number two and a half, you can't talk to them or touch them, or at least you ought to not do it."_

Gokou stared blankly, annoyed that he had to go through this but, still feeling that slap from earlier, didn't bother ask why he was there. Bulma faded away and he, still feeling uncomfortable about his form sliding through solid objects, he floated above the boulder and faced his past self.

Chi-Chi had just reluctantly removed her dress and was standing in nothing more than her slip, looking rather embarrassed. He looked down at himself. He was stark naked. (Gokou could tell as his clothes were in a messy pile not far away from her neatly folded dress) He crossed his arms over his chest. The only word he could use to explain watching his past self was… odd. He felt sick, like he was watching someone else's life. He was more or less also uncomfortable with seeing Chichi undressed. Not that he didn't like it… he just… she was young… It felt wrong to look at her at that age.

His young form seemed to have no problems, and as she gave a little squeak and dived in, he caught her as he promised.

_"Ah, young love."_

_"I thought you left."_

He blinked at Bulma. She shrugged.

_"Look how cute you two were."_

_"This actually happened?"_

She rolled her eyes.

_"Of course it did. You two used to do things like that all the time. You choose not to remember it. Typical male, selective memory… All you remember are damn fights."_

He blinked as she mumbled to herself. He was feeling odd as it was, her sitting there telling him what he did and didn't remember didn't help the situation. Of course Bulma always spoke her mind.

_"So now do you know how long ago this was?"_

_"I don't even remember it happening."_

She sighed again.

_"This is the day that ChiChi tells you about her being pregnant with Gohan."_

Gokou blinked. He was sure he'd remember that but Bulma pointed to the two in the lake. She mouthed the word, "_Listen."_

"Gokou… uh… how do you feel about children?"

Until Gohan, he hadn't really been exposed to kids as he got older. He shrugged. Chi-Chi was not satisfied. She pressed on.

"Have you ever thought…"

She stopped to giggle. He couldn't tell if she was excited or nervous or both.

"…About being a father?"

_"_Sure, I gue-"

"Gokou, I'm pregnant."

The past Gokou stared at her in a mixture or confusion at the abruptness and joy. Bulma was dabbing her eyes, giving little sighs telling Gokou she was content. Chi-Chi was nervously looking at him. He was still holding her, and in a moment, he, danced around in the water with her.

"I'm going to be a daddy! I'm going to be a daddy!"

Bulma yawned.

_"It obviously didn't stay this happy for long if you force yourself to forget it."_

_"I didn't force myself to forget anything."_

_"Okay, rephrased, if you pushed it aside as if it were nothing."_

Gokou didn't respond. He'd been a bit more cheerful upon watching himself young, until Bulma reminded him of what a "failure" he was to his family. He sighed. She patted him.

Goku blinked when he looked up to see a much younger version of himself staring at him. "Woah… wild."

Gokou looked at Bulma. "_See what I mean?"_ She nearly hissed, rubbing her head. With a dismissive look, she leaned forwards to the other Goku and with a smile said, "He's here because he's not having enough sex with ChiChi."

_"Hey! Don't tell me that!" _

The younger Goku stared at him. "What? Why wouldn't I be with ChiChi anymore?"

_"It's very complicated, there were these aliens-_" Gokou rushed to explain to himself.

"But being married is the best thing ever!" Young Goku smiled. With a mischievous grin he looked back over in the direction of ChiChi.

_"_Goku! Where are you?" The three looked up to hear a twenty year old ChiChi calling for her new husband.

"Well, have fun with those aliens." The younger version of him said with a wave and a smile.

The two faded away almost immediately, leaving Goku to glare at Bulma.

_"Come on, you have a bit more to see."_

Once again, a switch popped up out of nowhere. The entire scene had ended and the memory faded. She pulled the switch, and Gokou felt his insides lurch as he gave a yelp in surprise. She waved, grinning. She definitely liked this too much.

* * *

**-8/10 edit**


	11. What Went Wrong?

**How Much I Care**

Gokou once again was annoyed at Bulma's actions but as he stood directly outside of what he was sure was his little cottage, for a split second he thought they'd let him go home.

Wrong.

He could sense it, this was not his home. It seemed… melancholy, too quiet in an uncomfortable way.

Running water was the first thing he heard. He heard running water. He slowly approached the cottage and walked in. The house was freezing. He coughed and hugged himself as he looked for someone inside. A man in his gi stared out the window. Yet another youthful memory?

The man could have been made out of stone. Gokou moved on. He moved towards the bedrooms. Each of the three stood in perfect order and looked as if they had never been touched. Cold.

Finally, he walked back down the thin corridor and entered the kitchen. The sound of the running water became clearer as he approached.

An old woman stood by the sink filled with warm water and soap. Dirty dishes were on the counter but she hadn't picked them up. Her washcloth was discarded on the floor.

Her bun was more or less what gave off her age. It was tight and yet messy at the same time. Gokou stared at her. He refused to believe this… poor wreck was his Chi-Chan.

But as she turned around (had he made a noise?) the features belonged to his wife. Pale skin, a worried face through gentle wrinkles, dark, concerned eyes. She gave a little sigh, or yelp, and flinched. She'd been crying.

Gokou made to move towards her, but the man from before literally walked through him, embracing her. Gokou crossed his arms over his chest, not liking this turn of events. Was all this to show him that Chichi'd… been having an affair?

No… never…

_"Mother, I told you I would wash the dishes. And do the chores around here… You're far too emotional right now, please go lay down or take a bath."_

_"I'm not a China-Doll, Gohan, I can get along just fine." _

She made to grab a dish but missed and dropped the plate on the floor. She jumped up and flinched upon the impact's noise. Gohan held her so that she would not bend down to pick up the dish.

Gokou couldn't understand why she was breathing so hard.

_"Mother, Mother, calm down… it's alright… it's alright…" _

She buried her head in his chest and he just held her until her sobs were audible.

_"I miss him, Gohan… It's hard to believe he's been gone…" _

Gohan nodded and escorted her to another room.

_"Who's been gone?" _

Gokou'd been so caught up in the moment of confusion that he didn't remember that no one could hear or see him.

_"I've been waiting."_

This time, it was Vegeta.

_"Not you…" _

_"Believe me, I'd rather be doing other things."_

Gokou blinked but Vegeta sighed and moved on.

_"So you still don't know where you are?" _

_"Not really…"_

Annoyed, Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest.

_"Let me give you a… hint."_

Gokou flinched as Vegeta smirked.

_"This is a place where they would welcome you or even me with tears." _

_"The future? Mirai World? Mirai Trunks' world, is that where this is?"_

_"Very good. I'm supposed to tell you that this is how your death affected your wife. She's a wreck, if you're too thick to notice that too. Oh, by the way, this is the anniversary or your death."_

He smirked as Gokou yelped a bit.

_"Congratulations."_

Gokou pretty much ran out of the room. Vegeta shrugged and walked through the wall. Gokou flinched.

_"Mother, tonight I'm going to…" _

But Chichi cut him off and hugged a picture frame closer.

_"You can't."_

_"I have to, Mother. People are dying. Our future can still be saved…"_

She sighed and put it down. Gokou hesitantly walked up to it to look at it. It was of the small family, but he knew why it was so important. Gohan was still a young boy and he was present.

"_You're so much like him I can't even stand it."_

Chichi said nothing else as Gohan hugged her and walked out of the house.

_"What… what went so wrong here?"_

Vegeta yawned and shrugged off Gokou's reaction with yet another fact Gokou didn't want to know.

_"Gohan will die on this day a few years later." _

* * *

**-8/10 edit**


	12. The Last Memory

**How Much I Care**

Bulma, the present one, had reappeared. Gokou was thankful for this. He did not think he could face the melancholy eyes that belonged to Mirai Bulma. She crossed her arms over her chest and watched him for a few moments.

_"Slap in the face."_

He stared at her for a moment, thinking of asking her what she meant by that or if he'd heard wrong.

_"You really needed a slap in the face."_

He nodded silently. Not in accord, but because he seemed to have lost his voice. Now that he was alone to reflect on what he'd seen and been told, he understood and sat on what seemed to be nothing as helplessness washed over him.

There were footsteps for a moment as the silence pulled on. Bulma patted him on the back.

_"I think I'm wrong… there's not much we can tell you anymore. I can't tell you how to treat or love your wife because then it wouldn't be the man she married, would it? But I can show you yourself making mistakes and let you alone figure out what they are, and you, yourself can choose to accept these mistakes and change them. No human being is flawless. Now, it's almost time for you to go back to your own plain and make the choice."_

He soberly stared at the darkness below him as she spoke to him.

_"What does it matter? What's the point of this? To tell me I'm a horrible person?"_

A dark voice from inside of him said. It was his voice, but it was in a tone he'd never used before. He felt somewhat guilty that he agreed a little bit with what it said, but Bulma nodded calmly.

_"You act like it's my fault I fight. She wouldn't even be alive if my friends and I hadn't saved the world before… Why can't any of you see that?"_

Bulma nodded.

_"Gokou… you put fighting before your wife."_

Gokou thought to protest but crossed his arms over his chest and stared back down.

_"There is a difference between fighting out of selflessness and fighting out of selfishness. I'm afraid… you're a bit more power hungry than you think."_

_"I would nev-"_

_"You began fighting to save people and then you trained to stay strong just in case. Now, you fight to stay strong because you want to be the best. It's always been an ambition, you're only mortal and no one can expect that you wouldn't. This is one of the few things that cause you to be selfish. You would not abuse your power, given, but you still want it, more deeply than you know. And Gokou, think about it, is that what you want, really? Do you now realize how much Chi-Chi and you need each other?"_

Gokou refused to respond. He lived to train. She was saying there was a difference between being power hungry and abusing power but as far as he was concerned, he couldn't see it. And he above all people would never abuse his power. Bulma went on with a sigh upon no response.

_"No, you are not a horrible person, Gokou. No one ever said you were. But please heed what we have shown you. Please see your mistakes and correct them should you choose to do so. No one here is forcing you to do anything. I'm going to go ahead and show you the last thing I wanted to show you before you go."_

His heart leapt. He was going to leave this place soon. He silently hoped for no more sorrowful memories or visions. He couldn't handle another one such as the one with Mirai Chichi.

_"Do you know how long you've been asleep, Gokou?"_

He shrugged.

_"Only a few short hours?"_

She laughed.

_"It's been days. In your world, an entire week passed by since you left. When you fell asleep, it'd only been a few days."_

He stared angrily at her but didn't say anything.

_"I'm going to go ahead and let you see this with no further conversation. You're on a time limit this time without a guide. I can answer no questions so don't bother asking and wasting time. You will be slipping between this world and the real world so you will probably feel things like a breeze or something maybe hear, but keep in mind that as soon as you open your eyes in the real world you will not be able to access this world again. You understand that as soon as you finish you will wake up remembering everything and it will be your choice as to what to do?"_

He nodded.

_"Yet another gift is that you will remember this vividly. As time passes, you may or may not forget. It depends on you and it depends on them."_

_"Who are they?"_

Bulma smiled.

_"I don't really know. I'm just here playing hostess until you wake up. That's why we've been trading turns, don't you know? Time goes by here so much slower than in the real world so by the time you got out of one memory, a day had passed and two would wake up and one would sleep. In the real world, none of us had particularly known about this schedule, and when I wake up I won't know so when you ask me don't wonder why I think you're crazy. I don't really think you need to know a lot. You weren't here to receive the secrets of the universe."_

He nodded a bit.

_"Now, goodnight, or good morning, or good afternoon. Whatever you'd like to take it as. I'll see you."_

With a pat, she left, and once again Gokou was confused.

A little bit of light burst from the abyss far away. Gokou was either running towards it or it was coming towards him, or both, because it seemed to have been getting bigger and bigger. He then realized that neither had been moving towards each other, it was just enlarging. The picture was gray.

Once it was large enough, he stuck his hand out to touch it. It looked as if it were just a picture, but his hand seeped through and he stared at it after he ranked it back for a few moments. Then, it was large enough for his entire body to fit through. He stepped in.

It was very cold and it was raining but he seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. He found to his agitation he could not fly up but there was no sign of his cottage or anything else. Just trees. So many trees.

After walking amongst them for a many moments, it was pitch black.

The train poured on. He was soaked, so cold, so wet. He shivered.

Then, the world sank and he could feel rain beating on his eyelids. He flinched but panicked, having not seen what he was supposed to see and kept his eyes closed. His mind eventually seeped back into the dream… back into the gray place.

As far as he could tell, he hadn't moved an inch from when he… well, he assumed he'd almost waken up. Faster, he hurried to find what he was looking for.

Gokou came to a gentle clearing and saw a cottage after the blur of the rain. This was his, he was sure. He jogged inside, but there was nothing but the abyss there. It was not like before, so he knew that he wasn't on verge of waking up, but it was more like a hint that he was not supposed to go in that direction.

He exited and walked among the trees that framed the cottage.

He knew what he was looking for. Chi-Chi.

She couldn't have gone far, and the rivers and ponds nearby were most likely flooding. He doubted she would go near them.

Walking around the trees, more looking for ideas than anything, he noticed a blotch of purple by one particularly large tree out a few yards from the cottage. Jogging that direction, he became more and more sure it was Chi-Chi leaning by the tree.

He crouched down before her, tried to feel her, but his hand slipped through even though he noticed he'd felt more solid than he had before. He took that as a particularly bad sign.

_"Chi-Chan?"_

He whispered. She looked towards his direction and his heart leaped, surprised he'd been noticed, but it sank and she sighed and went back to tracing something with her finger. He looked up.

_Chi-Chi & Gokou_

_I love you._

The little heart… He understood now. At least everything that he was supposed to know, and for the first time, it was okay only having what he was supposed to.

Wrapping his arms around her, he gave her a hug that she once again seemed to notice only for a second and allowed the solidness to take over him.

Once again the raindrops were beating on his body. It was uncomfortable, especially around his eyes. He did not relax his mind, instead, he pulled his eyes open.

It was over.

He knew what to do.

* * *

**-8/10 edit**


	13. Dream

**How Much I care**

_"Wake up, Hon, you're going to get sick."_

Chichi groaned as she opened her eyes to watch the blurry form before her.

_"What's going on…?"_

_"Come on, let's get out of this rain…"_

Chichi sat up, leaning against the tree. Gokou smiled, holding out a hand for her to take while holding an umbrella out with the other. She frowned, shaking her head somewhat.

_"Son Gokou, just where do you think you've been? Taking my son off and training without saying anything! It's been a week! I thought you'd both been killed!"_

She wanted to yell, but her voice was sore and she could hardly bear to scream into the remorseful eyes of her husband. She crossed her arms over her chest.

_"I know… I'm sorry, Chi. I know you don't want Gohan to end up like me."_

Chichi stared at her husband through his sad smile for a moment.

_"That… that isn't true at all."_

Gokou blinked. She was always worried about Gohan-she always said she didn't want him to end up like him.

_"I say that too often, don't I?"_

Chichi looked down sadly.

_"What do you mean?"_

Gokou cocked his head to the side. The rain was getting louder but the two were unaware of anything. All they saw was each other.

_"Gokou, it would mean so much to me if Gohan ended up as kind as you are. As selfless and sweet. I'm just always so worried. What if he gets himself killed playing hero? What… if you get yourself killed?"_

Gokou wanted to embrace his wife but he was so excited-so happy to hear such gentle words of confession from his Chichi, his Chichi, that he was sure he'd nearly squeeze her to death. His smile broadened.

Gokou saw now that he'd searched for what was not important and unable to be found anyway.

_"Chi… Is that what's been bothering you lately?"_

_"I'm very worried. But you're so carefree; you don't understand how hard it is to see you leave. I try to trust my confidence in you…"_

Goku bent down and smiled to his wife, no longer afraid of getting wet. His arms wrapped around her and his lips brushed against her ear as he spoke kindly.

_"I have to fight. But I will never leave you. I will die to protect you and our son, Chi-Chi…"_

Chi looked up to stare into her husband's sincere eyes. Gokou now took the chance to ask her another serious question, looking at her straight in the eyes.

_"Do you regret you married me, Chi-Chi?"_

_"Never."_

Chichi almost gasped at the question.

_"I love you more than anything Gokou… please never think I don't. I waited for you all of my life and it is you that I will always wait for."_

_"I'm afraid sooner or later you will stop waiting for me."_

_"Never."_

_\_Her lips hesitantly touched his and he leaned into her, a gentle kiss with nothing but sincere love into it.

All doubts vanished. Gokou stood up, taking the umbrella once more though it did no good as they were both soaked.

Chichi's nail followed the carving in the wood he'd made when they were so much younger.

_"Do you think if we had a chance to see ourselves now that we would've gotten married?"_

_"Absolutely."_

Gokou nodded.

And that was that. There was no huge climax where Chichi shrieked at Gokou and broke into tears. There were no hostilities or secrets. They shared everything with each other for those moments under the tree.

_"All I wanted was to know how much you cared."_

Chichi admitted, looking up at him

_"More than anything in the world."_

There was silence as Chichi tried to recollect herself as his words… she was finally at a certain peace.

_"Gohan is asleep in bed." _

_"Good… He has a long day of training ahead of him…"_

Chichi nodded. Gokou loved her all the more for trying to support them a bit, even though he now saw that it was his wife's fear that he would get hurt during battle.

_"It's raining…Maybe he can stay in tomorrow… maybe we both can."_

Chichi smiled against herself. He didn't care about the weather; he wanted to stay in with her. She never asked herself 'What next?'. It didn't matter. She understood him as no one else did. Her fears just got in the way of it sometimes.

And now… he understood her as he never had before.

_"We should try to get out of this rain."_

Gokou outstretched his hand again.

Chichi took his hand.

* * *

**-8/10 edit**


	14. Affection

**How Much I Care**

Gohan woke up to see his parents sitting together at the table. His mother was not chirping, nor was she silent. His parents were having an actual conversation and it shocked him.

_"Morning, Gohan. Sleep well?"_

_"What happened? Last I remember… we were training with Piccolo and Dad, you passed out…"_

Gokou grinned and shrugged.

_"It's okay now. Oh, by the way… we aren't going to be training today."_

Gohan stared.

_"Does this mean I have to do homework?"_

Chi-Chi laughed softly and set Gohan's breakfast on the table.

_"No. It doesn't mean you need to do work."_

_"Really? Can we go camping, Dad?"_

_"If that's what your mom wants to do."_

Chichi shrugged a bit. So the day started. Chichi made lunch to go while Gokou watched her, as if fascinated. Either that or hungry. Chi teased him. Gohan wasn't worried anymore.

It was decided that they would just picnic instead of camp. Chi sat on a rock next to her husband and listened to Gohan tell stories of the adventures he'd had on Namek.

It surprised him that she did not seem to get worried when he told of the daring things they'd done. She was a completely different person, she seemed younger, prettier.

Happy.

The day ended and Gokou made love to his wife. Chi-Chi knew without either having to say a word that the three years' time was almost up and this would probably be one of their last days together in a while. She did not cling to her husband's chest.

He could end up dead. Her son could end up dead. But they wouldn't. Gokou was too naïve to know when to give up.

The two rest in bed. There was no ocean of covers between them. Chichi's head rested where it seemed to belong on this time on her husband's chest. She could hear his heart.

No uncomfortable silences. He did not blush when he saw his wife naked.

It was a very sweet night.

The next day, when Chichi woke up, Gokou was still under her. He smiled at her and she smiled back and the day began. She made breakfast and he watched the sun rise, slowly waking himself up to begin his training for the day.

They ate together and Chichi waved without complaint when they left and did not scowl when they returned at dusk, both a little battered. She was flustered when they would not let her fuss over the minor cuts but the Son men gave in and allowed her to bandage the cuts they hadn't taken much notice in.

Dinner came and they ate happily.

Time passed. Gokou did not change, proving this was no temporary adjustment. Life was soft and happy in the Son household. Chi-Chi was not lonely.

Only once did she ask her spouse if he thought that this change would ever come to its end due to whatever reasons.

_"Never, Chi."_

Everything was settled thereon.

It's amazing how in the beginning of this tale, Son Chi-Chi was the lost one, or so she seemed to be lost, but Son Gokou was the one that had to find more than her.

Is it really that amazing?

Eventually, the dream slipped from Gokou's mind though he never completely forgot the lasting memory of the lesson he had learned and the newfound understanding of his wife.

It was the last night. The next day he would go and play hero and he almost did not want to finish his dinner.

Chichi stared at him oddly from a side-glance, but waited until Gohan left the table to mention anything to her husband.

_"What's wrong?"_

Gokou smiled sadly.

_"Gohan's very excited."_

_"So are you. You've waited for this for a very long time."_

Chi-Chi reassured, but rested her head on his shoulder.

_"It's okay to be afraid, even if I know you're not. So what's wrong?"_

_"I'll miss you. I don't know how long I'll be gone… but I will miss you, Chi-Chi."_

_"I know. I'll miss you too, Gokou. But I'll be waiting here with your dinner ready when you get back."_

Gokou laughed softly.

Once again, he made love to his wife. It seemed amazing how she could be so sweet and peaceful when tomorrow he would be facing the exact opposite-the hell of the battlefield.

She did not cling to him but she would not let him go either.

_"You know what?"_

_"Hmn?"_

_"I love you."_

With a very soft smile, he touched her cheek. "Let me show you how much I care."

* * *

**-8/10 edit**


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